An Exclusive Interview With February Gold

I just got a phone call from February Gold. It’s the first time in my 23 years of trading that I’ve gotten a cold call from a commodity futures contract. Seems Gold has been reading my blog and he’s chosen my humble corner of the market for this exclusive interview to set the record straight on a few things that have appeared in the media recently. Ed Bradley RIP and Charlie Rose eat your hearts out.

The first thing Gold said to me was that “I don’t give a f*** about Ireland’s economy. All the Guinness sold in Spring Lake, NJ adds up to more GDP than all of Ireland. Next.”

— “Helicopter Ben is one of my favorite business partners. He is clueless, but leaving him at the helm of the Fed is like Christmas at Fort Knox. He’s totally “job security” as far as I’m concerned. I haven’t decided whether I’m going to $3,000 from these levels or not. I might take a breather down to $1325, who knows. But don’t take my word for it, just watch my price.”

— “I think Obama must be part Irish. His face reads like County Armagh. After Obama endorses Bill Clinton for President, he should move to Northern Ireland. They’ll have something for him in Londonderry as a community organizer. He was good at it and they need him to bridge the peace between the Orangemen and the Nationalists.”

— Not surprisingly, Gold left me with another nugget on the Fed Chief: “I want to have Ben Bernanke’s children. No man in history, not even the big fella Michael Collins, has had such a profound effect on my growth and upbringing. He’s heavy metal. Love him…”