First dates and chemistry

So following from yesterday, this is what I think Richard Dennis was getting at in the first Market Wizards book. When he said something along the lines of saying “I could publish my rules in the Wall Street Journal, and no one would follow them.” There’s a certain curiosity to see how people might make money trading. But again, if there’s no emotional compatibility, those are rules that aren’t going to get followed. Even if you know the rules are going to make money. So that’s why I find it a great mystery in life. Why people will go out and buy other people’s systems because you could be out hundreds to thousands of dollars to just see the curiosity, pull back the curtain, so to speak, but never really have the emotional connection to work the rules.

It’s just like when my friend says, “Hey, would you set me up with so, and so?” I’ll say, sure, why not introduce the folks? They go out on the date and I’ll see them in class? “How was the date?” “Meh…”

I’m like, I know exactly why the date went flat. You have two very, very good looking people. They go out on the date and the date’s flat. Why is that? And it’s not, because the two of them are both narcissistic it’s because they don’t have any chemistry. And so likewise, when you’re looking at trading, you need to have an emotional chemistry with what it is that you’re doing and seeing how somebody else does it is interesting. But it doesn’t mean you’re going to be able to pull it off. And then again, you start to feel bitter because you think you can buy your way out of it and it doesn’t work that way. Now you might understand what I say. And I’ve said before, I’ll say it again. Now the best teacher of trading is you trading because you get to see right away what resonates with you and what doesn’t you have to look at your grubstake as tuition that you’re going to pay, perhaps all of it. You’re like, “fuck that. I’m not paying all this money to do that.” Okay. Well great. But the thing is is that if it’s worth having it, isn’t going to necessarily come easy or be cheap.

And if all those trading books were worth their salt, why do we need 45 new ones every week? Wouldn’t the definitive “How to Trade” book be written that everyone could just follow? It’s because people are lazy. It’s the same reason they go to the gym, thinking that lifting weights are throwing around kettlebells are going to help them lose weight. When the reality is, is that on some level, no matter how you break it down, they need to run at a caloric deficit, the weight lifting’s good and the discipline part’s cool. And I know there’s lifting weights does stuff for your bone density and all that crap. I don’t want to get into that bullshit. At the end of the day, if you’re trying to lose weight, you have to cut your calories. And that does’t feel good because people like to eat.

Same thing in trading. You can buy every book under the sun, but that’s not going to teach you how to, you can even take a course about learning how to trade. And that’s not necessarily going to teach you how to trade because none of that is conjugated with who you are as a person. Because what I’ve been trying to get at for the past two years doing the daily show is that the best thing that you can do is take your money and do it put on some trades.

There are a few things that I believe are absolutes that you shouldn’t do. Don’t buy shitty penny stocks. Don’t start doing bad habits that are hard to break. Do the things that really, really successful people are doing, which means people who aren’t on Twitter, people who aren’t on StockTwits or social media. What are the legendary guys doing? How do they handle their day? How do they manage risk? Because you could scale that down to make it work for you, because again, is the goal to feel good or is the goal to make money because sometimes good financial decisions don’t feel good, especially if you’re not used to them. And this happens, doesn’t matter if you got $5k or $50 million.

So that’s why I’ve advocated to save you money. I’ve been doing the show for free to save you time, money, and effort in that if you don’t know what makes you tick, which is hard to find out, I fully admit, it’s so easy to just go to frigging Linda.com or udemy.com, or anywhere else and buy some course or whatever. And you think you could buy your way into the business. And those same people go out and buy 14 monitors that depreciate 50% in one month.

So you have to think, why are they doing that? Well? Because they want the feelings of being in the trading business, which is very different from being a profitable trader. Those are two different things. So love me or hate me. I’ve been genuine and I’ve been truthful. And everything that I’ve said has been consistent in that the only way you’re going to learn really how to trade is by doing it – everything else is a side show. And it’s meant to make you feel insecure and how to separate you with your money so that you could deal and undo the feeling of uncertainty.

One of the reasons why we basically give away the “how to” stuff – the courses if you will is because it’s me working with the person 1-1. It isn’t cheap and it’s never going to be cheap. Because I’ve spent 35 years perfecting my craft. And if you want a quick solution to something with guaranteed results, unfortunately it’s not going to cost you $300.

So we give the “how-to” stuff away because the harder part of the teaching is getting the person to fully understand who they are. What makes them tick? Do they have goals? What are they doing during the day? That makes them feel good, but actually doesn’t do crap to help them trade better. Where does fear kick in and stop them and shut them down? How do they understand their current environment? How do they understand the environment that they grew up in?

So it’s pretty deep process and it’s a lot of work and it’s definitely not for everybody, but that’s the only way to have success in my mind’s eye is to learn about yourself. And then what ends up happening is the feedback that I get from clients is that they not only are trading better, but their life is amazing because so much of this stuff is these emotional equations show up everywhere.

Anyway, we’ll pick this up again tomorrow. Please consider subscribing on YouTube, Apple podcasts, or Spotify. I’ve also been given away the audio book version of The Inner Voice of Trading book – a book I wrote in 2011 for FT Press. You can get the audiobook version for free at MartinKronicle.

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